Family

“This, I will defend…”
By Jim Kuiken

I was talking with some friends last night over dinner, and they were asking about my writing – specifically, what I would be writing about in this week’s post.  I wasn’t really sure, but after a short discussion, I said “Family”.

How apropos that turned out to be...with President George H.W. Bush’s funeral today, huh…?  I always liked him.  The servant-leader, gentleman, warrior/diplomat, staunch defender of decency, loyal to his friends, and deeply devoted to his family.

It only makes this week’s topic more poignant.

So…as with many of my articles, let’s set the baseline as to what I’m talking about when I say “family”.

The generally accepted meaning of family has something to do with a fairly homogenous nuclear family.  Dad, Mom, 2.5 kids, and a dog.

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Freedom with my third sister.

Wow!  That’s so not my family!!  Nothing wrong with that, it’s just not mine.

My family consists of a hodgepodge of folks from all walks of life.  First, my siblings.

I have one brother (from my mom and father, but we were raised by my mom and dad – who married my mom a few years after she and my father were divorced.)

I have three sisters…one from my mom (and dad), one from my father (and his wife), and one with no parents in common…

And I have a dog…my Freedom.  Who everyone loves. 

None of us (siblings) has 2.5 kids.  A couple have 5, I have 3, one has one, and one has none.  And the fun part is we are anything but homogeneous​…if you base that on ancestry. 

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We’re all different, and a few of us have blends, but our family portrait looks like the United Nations.  Between us, there are some that are Scottish, Native American, Dutch, African American, Lebanese, Korean, Mexican, Chinese, Filipino, Italian, and probably a few more I’m forgetting.  And that’s just between my 3 (blood) siblings and our kids!

But…we ARE homogenous!  We’re family.  Period.

Some are hard left progressives / liberals, some are hard right conservatives, some are in the middle, and some are non-committal.  Who friggin’ cares? We’re family.  We may not agree, but we do so civilly.  I enjoy some of the discussions, and always love my family, no matter what.  And each and every one of them knows that if the $#!+ ever hits the fan, I’ll be there.  Because I have been, every time.

That’s my immediate family.  My extended family, through my dad (the Kuiken’s), my father (the Rose clan) and my in-laws (the Farías family) is quite extensive – but they’re still my family, and the same applies to all of them.

Family, to me, is kind of a concept more than blood.  Don’t get me wrong, if someone’s related to me by blood, they’re family…but even if they’re not, they’re still family.  My dad is a great example.  Even though we’re not directly related by blood (we are, peripherally, through my oldest sister), he’s the one who raised us.  Love trumps all, and he loves and is loved by us – as our dad.  There are other relationships like that in my family, but that doesn’t make those relationships any less real or close than if we shared blood.  It’s the relationship that makes family in my eyes, not the heritage.

I also have a larger family, in my friends.  Some are brothers or sisters in arms, who have gone through things that bond us together closer than most will understand…and why many of us spend our time trying to help each other through those tough times.

To a lesser extent, that includes my community, where I spent many years in public service – because I felt that connection – as a firefighter / EMT-A, and as a local, State, and Federal law enforcement officer, serving, helping and protecting my community.

And in a broader sense, my country, as a combat-wounded veteran with a 30-year career in the Marine Corps, serving and protecting my country.

President G.H.W Bush epitomized family.  He deeply loved his family, was loyal to his friends, and devoted to serving his country.  Each of the eulogies at his funeral service all held a striking similar theme.  Love and service.  Self-sacrifice, and caring for others.

That is family.  Immediate, extended, friends, community and country.  Today we saw a brief glimpse of what it could be…if we treat each other as family.  Disagree, discuss – even argue (civilly, without personal acrimony or hatred), but always remember to treat each other with respect.

I love my family (first, foremost, and always).  I care for my community, and I love my country.  I’m pretty easy-going about a lot of stuff…but not family. 

And I will protect them to the last drop of blood in my body.  As I’ve said before in my quotes, for those who don’t understand that…or me…

“I HATE violence, more than most, for I have seen it.  But I will visit its full wrath upon you without blinking an eye if you attempt to harm me, my family, the innocent, or my country.”