Back On Track

The Derailment
​By Jim Kuiken

OBE.  That’s the term we used in the military…  “Overtaken By Events”.

That might be valid in the military, law enforcement, the fire service or emergency medical services – but in pretty much every other endeavor (especially something like writing), it sounds more like a weak excuse.

Oh, and also in the military, we used to say “Excuses are like (bleep).  Everyone has one, and they all stink”.  Which would lead someone to try to get around giving an excuse by saying “it’s not an excuse, it’s an explanation!”  The theory there was to excuse the excuse…or to take responsibility for the lack of mission accomplishment by “taking full responsibility”, but then tempering it with an explanation of how “events” got in the way, and it wasn’t really your fault for not doing whatever it was that you were supposed to have done.

Well…I “fell off the bandwagon” of writing, both in my weekly blog posts and updates, and in working on my current book.  I was “overtaken by events”.  Not an excuse, but an explanation!  (yeah, right Kuiken...sounds like an excuse to me…)

I actually did have a lot of really important events and obligations that took up the time, but that’s just an excuse (which I’ll cover later – including the “fix” for that, so it doesn’t happen again).

The actual events and obligations (i.e., the “explanation” for the derailment) were as follows:

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• Last week of Jan – Second week of Feb:  Working with Military Veterans Advocacy (MVA) advocating on Capitol Hill (the Hill), primarily for the Blue Water Navy Vietnam Veterans bills (HR-299 on the House side, and S.1195 on the Senate side), as well as other Veterans Benefits bills, and meeting with numerous House and Senate offices and the Representatives and Senators, as well as Senate and House Veterans Affairs Committees.

 

• Two weekends a month (all year, through this coming August): Sponsoring my fellow Marine and friend, who as I mentioned before, I served with in the Marine Corps here in the US, as well as Kosovo.  He served honorably, and went on to serve in Iraq as well.  He was also very successful in his civilian career, reaching the very top of his profession.  Like a lot of those who served, the toll of his service weighed heavy, and eventually, coupled with other factors (such as mis/over-prescribed medications from the VA for his PTSd and TBI), contributed to the reason he was incarcerated.  He is now in a Pre-Release facility, and is doing (as I knew he would) very well.

 

• Last week of Feb – First week of Mar:  Back on the Hill with MVA, same advocacy.

 

• Feb 27th:  Interview and filming for a documentary about PTSD by Jess Arnold (WUSA9), supporting the PTSD photo gallery of artist Susan J. Barron, who put together Depicting The Invisible: A Portrait Series of Veterans Suffering from PTSD.

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• Mar 5th:  “Tribute to the Fallen” Commemorative Plaque Dedication Ceremony at the Quantico National Cemetery.  To honor the families of service members who have fallen in service to our country, the National Cemetery Administration is establishing a Tribute to the Fallen and their (Gold Star) Families plaque at every active National Cemetery throughout the country.  Freedom and I attended along with Randy Reeves, Department of Veterans Affairs Under Secretary for Memorial Affairs; Hershel “Woody” Williams, the last surviving Medal of Honor recipient from the Battle of Iwo Jima; numerous other dignitaries, and several families of the fallen. 

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• Second week of Mar: Back on the Hill with MVA, same advocacy.

 

• Mar 14th: Meeting at the White House with their Legislative Liaison Director, with MVA, same advocacy.  

 

• Mar 19th:  Meeting with leaders from the local Rudiarius Motorcycle Club Chapter (Veterans, Fire, EMS, Law Enforcement) and the Fairfax H.O.G. Chapter about continued fundraising activities for this year (they have been long-time fundraisers for charitable causes in the local community).

 

• Mar 30th:  Freedom and I were invited to attend the Reception honoring the “Depicting the Invisible” portrait series, hosted by The Army and Navy Club, Washington DC.

 

• First week of Apr: Working on and supporting a book / documentary project, including a visit with my friend and fellow Marine (a MOH recipient) Harvey “Barney” Barnum.​

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• Apr 10 – 17:  Trip to Boise, ID on family business, and my father’s memorial service. 

 

• Apr 25th:  Attended the Veteran Service Organization (VSO) roundtable, hosted by the Dept. of Veterans Affairs HQ in Washington DC, with MVA.  Roundtable was addressed by the Secretary of Veterans Affairs, and among other issues, MVA discussed the Blue Water Navy Veterans of Vietnam bill and other advocacy items.

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• May 1 – 5:  Freedom and I went on our annual Black Lake fishing trip with my good friend, and highly acclaimed award-winning author, Clint Goodwin, and his son-in-law and a couple of friends.  As always, Freedom was our good-luck fish-licker, and brought us success!  It was a much-needed get-away, and a great time. 

 

• May 15 – 24:  Trip to South Texas on family business…a big wedding!  A great time was had by all!

 

• Last week of May and first week of Jun:  Trip to New Orleans to redesign, reorganize and expand Military Veterans Advocacy from its current organizational structure and size, into a more robust, growing and self-sustaining organization that will be able to continue and expand its ability to carry out the MVA mission to support and assist military members, veterans and their families to protect their rights and benefits through Legislation, Litigation and Education.

 

• Second week of Jun:  Back on the Hill with MVA, same advocacy.

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• And of course, all sorts of personal appointments, Freedom’s weekly appointment with Carol at the Vienna Pet Spaw, and general maintenance and yard work, etc…just to fill in the slow spots…  

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So much for the “explanation” (i.e., thinly veiled excuse…).  Sure, I was busy, but that is no excuse for not keeping up with my writing.  There were a few ones in there that would have interfered, like the weeks up on the Hill.  When we’re walking from office to office all day, seeing up to 8-10 Members or their staffs each day, there is literally no time to do anything else.

However, during those weeks where I was on trips…I can’t say with a straight face that I couldn’t have found a couple of spare hours per week to write the weekly posts and updates.  And probably work on a chapter or two in the book.

But I finally realized the BIG problem that was in my way (besides just not “doing the work”).  It all hit me square in the face when I read this outstanding article by Robert Glazer.  To Be Successful You Need to Say No Often.

I already knew this, several times over.  From my Marine training.  From my Dale Carnegie training in the 80’s.  From numerous other sources over the years.  I just let it slip back.  I just have a hard time saying No!

It’s the old adage.  “If you want something done, ask a busy person.”  I have always been a busy person, and I’ve always had people asking me to help, to do stuff.  And I keep doing it.

I did it so much, that I stopped doing my stuff!!  Well, guess what.  That stops now.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to drop the ball…but I AM going to shift what I do for people so I phase myself out of being needed.  Like reorganizing MVA so it is a growing, self-sustaining successful organization that doesn’t need me anymore! 

I’m going to say no – often.  And I’m going to focus back on what I need to do, for my writing, my personal life, and my family.  Life is like a roll of toilet paper.  The closer to the end you get, the faster it goes…and I don’t intend to turn into an empty cardboard roll before I get back on track!

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