By Jim Kuiken
OBE. That’s the term we used in the military… “Overtaken By Events”.
That might be valid in the military, law enforcement, the fire service or emergency medical services – but in pretty much every other endeavor (especially something like writing), it sounds more like a weak excuse.
Oh, and also in the military, we used to say “Excuses are like (bleep). Everyone has one, and they all stink”. Which would lead someone to try to get around giving an excuse by saying “it’s not an excuse, it’s an explanation!” The theory there was to excuse the excuse…or to take responsibility for the lack of mission accomplishment by “taking full responsibility”, but then tempering it with an explanation of how “events” got in the way, and it wasn’t really your fault for not doing whatever it was that you were supposed to have done.
Well…I “fell off the bandwagon” of writing, both in my weekly blog posts and updates, and in working on my current book. I was “overtaken by events”. Not an excuse, but an explanation! (yeah, right Kuiken...sounds like an excuse to me…)
I actually did have a lot of really important events and obligations that took up the time, but that’s just an excuse (which I’ll cover later – including the “fix” for that, so it doesn’t happen again).
The actual events and obligations (i.e., the “explanation” for the derailment) were as follows:
So much for the “explanation” (i.e., thinly veiled excuse…). Sure, I was busy, but that is no excuse for not keeping up with my writing. There were a few ones in there that would have interfered, like the weeks up on the Hill. When we’re walking from office to office all day, seeing up to 8-10 Members or their staffs each day, there is literally no time to do anything else.
However, during those weeks where I was on trips…I can’t say with a straight face that I couldn’t have found a couple of spare hours per week to write the weekly posts and updates. And probably work on a chapter or two in the book.
But I finally realized the BIG problem that was in my way (besides just not “doing the work”). It all hit me square in the face when I read this outstanding article by Robert Glazer. To Be Successful You Need to Say No Often.
I already knew this, several times over. From my Marine training. From my Dale Carnegie training in the 80’s. From numerous other sources over the years. I just let it slip back. I just have a hard time saying No!
It’s the old adage. “If you want something done, ask a busy person.” I have always been a busy person, and I’ve always had people asking me to help, to do stuff. And I keep doing it.
I did it so much, that I stopped doing my stuff!! Well, guess what. That stops now. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to drop the ball…but I AM going to shift what I do for people so I phase myself out of being needed. Like reorganizing MVA so it is a growing, self-sustaining successful organization that doesn’t need me anymore!
I’m going to say no – often. And I’m going to focus back on what I need to do, for my writing, my personal life, and my family. Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer to the end you get, the faster it goes…and I don’t intend to turn into an empty cardboard roll before I get back on track!